Online Dating Dilemmas

Navigating the online dating scene can become an overwhelming
situation; these articles will help steer you in the right
direction.

Navigating the online dating scene can become an overwhelming
situation; these articles will help steer you in the right
direction.

There are a few common scenarios that many online daters
eventually experience, and each one can seem like a stumbling
block, impeding the way to a happier, brighter love life. The
most common experience—and often one of the first—is the
impulse sign up period; you browse a couple promising profiles
that catch your interest, and you can’t help but to rush and
sign up, posting a first draft profile. The second most common
experience is that moment of first contact, but you’re unsure
of how to proceed, or that if you should take down your profile
entirely. And then there’s that online dating overload
sensation, a feeling of burn out. We can help; follow our
advice for a more enjoyable online dating adventure.

Ok, I’ve just created a new profile, and I’m ready to meet new
people, but how do I proceed? What do I do?

So you’ve just signed up and are ready to take the online
dating world by storm. You may be tempted to contact a
multitude of people—anyone with blue eyes or within a decent
driving distance; this “spam” approach to online dating is a
bad move. This desperate approach really won’t get you very far
in the online dating world. Pick five to six people and see if
anyone of them works out; if not, move on to several more.
Don’t overwhelm yourself, casting out a big dating net, seeing
if someone bites—you’re not on a race against time. Take it
easy my friend; have fun and enjoy yourself. 

It’s always wise to keep your dating prospects to a manageable
number. You don’t want to become disorganized, mixing up
profiles, confusing and tangling interests, hobbies and
turnoffs with a myriad of individuals. Is Susie the one who
likes combining rocky road with strawberry ice cream, or is she
the one who dislikes rainy days? Is it Brad or Steven who would
rather curl up with a good mystery novel than watch a Lakers
game? I can’t remember! Keeping notes is a good way to manage
all your contacts; you don’t want them thinking that you have a
hundred people in your dating queue. Don’t give them the wrong
impression.

By reading a few emails, it’s very common for people to believe
that they’ve found their true soul mate. Every word that person
writes in their email strikes a romantic chord, and you can’t
seem to find a single flaw—they’re perfect! Don’t build up your
expectations too high; you’ve only just passed the first of many
stages. After then initial email exchanges, start with a few
friendly phone chats. Get to know the person on an intellectual
level; you may soon discover that your potential hook up doesn’t
quite fit the image you had in your mind, and this could save
you a lot of wasted energy. Three weeks is a good amount of
time before you’re ready for the next level—the first in-person
meeting!

Our connection is perfect; we’re getting serious. What do I do
now?

There comes a time when you ask yourself “is it time to take
down my profile?” You’ve found your prefect match and now
you’re wondering about your profile floating around in dating
wonderland. The essential question is basically this: “is this
the only person I want to see?” If the answer is yes, then you
should have no reservations about taking down your profile. You
may be tempted to wait for the other person to take down their
profile first, taking that as a sign to reciprocate their good
intentions. It’s up to you. The best course would be to just
take down your profile when you feel the time is right, and
don’t even tell the other person; chances are they’ll see that
you have and will ask you about it.

Don’t torture yourself by incessantly checking your newly found
sweetheart’s profile, crossing your fingers, hoping that it has
been taken down for good. Avoid this—if you find yourself
constantly performing repetitive profile checks, go do
something else; watch TV, read a book, exercise—anything to
avoid the urge to spy. If you simply can’t stop the nagging
urges, there’s a simple solution: just ask!

Resist the notion of raising a guilt trip, claiming that since
you’ve taken your profile down, it’s high time that they do the
same. And don’t perform the grade school antic of “if you don’t
take it down, I don’t want to see you anymore”. For starters,
simply state that you feel a nice connection with them; ask
them if they are ready to date you exclusively. If your
potential lover says no, then you’ll have to decide if you can
live with that person keeping their “options open”, so to
speak. Often, confidence is a major turn on—it greatly
amplifies your adventurous, outgoing personality; if they don’t
want to take down their profile just yet, you way want to reply
with something like: “Well, that’s cool with me, but I don’t
think you’ll find another catch like me anywhere else.”

I’m experiencing dating overload; am I becoming jaded towards
online dating?

It’s often a good idea to take a hiatus from the online social
scene—take breaks for reflection and to replenish your spirit.
Scrolling through the profiles of hundreds of potential mates
can become tiresome, and you may even feel like giving up the
search all together. The best advice is not to give up. The
jaded feelings that are swirling around inside your head
are—like all things in life—temporary. Go offline and take a
break from your computer. Don’t check back until a couple weeks
have passed; you need time to rejuvenate—you’ll be glad you did.

Once you get back into the mix, you’ll need to perform an
analysis of what went wrong the last time you were sweetheart
hunting. What are you doing that needs improvement? Are you
asking for dates too soon? Do you have a picture up on your
profile?

Like everything in life, excess in anything is never a good
idea. Limiting the amount of time you spend online can be very
beneficial—long bouts of searching is sure to make your eyes
bulge and your head pop. Always give yourself some time to rest
your head and eyes. Step away for a few hours—during this window
of time new people may have signed up, boosting your excitement
and chances of finding that special someone.

About the Author: Author for http://www.online4love.com

Source: http://www.isnare.com